TMI

Kid: Ms. X I ate too much of my Mom's too delicious food and now my tummy hurts.
Me: Ok do you need to go to the bathroom?
Kid: No I don't have diarrhea, I did before but I don't now. My Dad gets diarrhea
all the time from my Mom's too delicious food.
Me:...do you want to get a sip of water?
Kid: That sounds reasonable.
Me: Ok why don't you go ahead and do that then.

OMG

(While learning about long and short e, we have gone from me giving examples to the kids giving their own)

Kid: Pet
Me: Long e or short e?
Kid: Long a
Me: We are talking about the letter E and pet has an E in it not an A.
Kid: No it doesn't.
Me: Excuse me?
Kid: It's an A.
Me: Pet is spelled with an E.
Kid: But...
Me : We are not having a discussion about this, it has a short e in it. End of story.  
      Who can give me another example?
Kid 2: Tebow
Me: What?
Kid 2: Tebow
Me: Like Tim Tebow?
Kid 2: Yes
Me: ....long or short?
Kid 2: Long
Me: Good I think we are done for today...

Samurai # 3

Kid: Ms. X my Tiger Spirit is getting stronger, tigers are dangerous and beautiful.

My day involved cleaning poop off a chair and the following quotes...

Me: Did you have an accident?
Kid: No
Me: What's on the back of your pants?
Kid: I don't know, what's that smell?
Me: I think it's what's on your pants, what do you think?
Kid: Could be


Me: What could we use to measure the table?
Kid: That stick with the lines on it.

Me: Can you use the word star in a sentence?
Kid: That star
Me: That's not a sentence.
Kid: Behold that star!

This is what we are dealing with....

A note from a PARENT:

"Dear Teacher,
     Anna did not want to do her homework last night."

Gentlemen Take Note

Kid: (Playing with my hand) Where's your ring?
Me: What ring?
Kid: You need a ring!
Me: I know, what kind of ring should I get?
Kid: Zales! Wanna go to Zales and buy a ring?
Me: Yeah! Are you going to buy me one?
Kid: Yeah let's go to Zales, the Diamond Store!
Me: Awesome!
Kid:What does Zales mean?
Me: It's just the name of the store I don't think it means anything.
Kid: It' means it's the Diamond Store!

Alllllvvvvviiiiiin!

Kid: I saw this thing on TV telling me that Elvin is lost. Do you know Elvin? He's a chipmunk.
Me: Alvin?
Kid: Yes Elvin, hes a cute little chipmunk and hes lost and the TV said I have to help find him, but how am I supposed to find him? I'm just a kid, I can't find chimpmunks!.....or can I....? Ms. X do you like adventures?
Me: Yes!
Kid: Well tonight when you go home ask your mom if you can come over to my house, its easy you get a credit card, you know a credit card, the yellow ones?
Me: A metro card?
Kid: Yeah and get on the bus to my house, then we can go to where the TV said,www.whereselivn.com. We can get clues there on where to go next!
Me: Well I'll ask my mom but she doesn't like me out too late, I'm sure Alvin will turn up somewhere soon though.