The Darndest Things

OMG

2012-02-02T16:57:00.000-08:00

(While learning about long and short e, we have gone from me giving examples to the kids giving their own)

Kid: Pet
Me: Long e or short e?
Kid: Long a
Me: We are talking about the letter E and pet has an E in it not an A.
Kid: No it doesn't.
Me: Excuse me?
Kid: It's an A.
Me: Pet is spelled with an E.
Kid: But...
Me : We are not having a discussion about this, it has a short e in it. End of story.
Who can give me another example?
Kid 2: Tebow
Me: What?
Kid 2: Tebow
Me: Like Tim Tebow?
Kid 2: Yes
Me: ....long or short?
Kid 2: Long
Me: Good I think we are done for today...

Samurai # 3

2012-02-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

Kid: Ms. X my Tiger Spirit is getting stronger, tigers are dangerous and beautiful.

My day involved cleaning poop off a chair and the following quotes...

2012-02-02T16:42:00.000-08:00

Me: Did you have an accident?
Kid: No
Me: What's on the back of your pants?
Kid: I don't know, what's that smell?
Me: I think it's what's on your pants, what do you think?
Kid: Could be

Me: What could we use to measure the table?
Kid: That stick with the lines on it.

Me: Can you use the word star in a sentence?
Kid: That star
Me: That's not a sentence.
Kid: Behold that star!

This is what we are dealing with....

2012-01-05T13:46:00.000-08:00

A note from a PARENT:

"Dear Teacher,
Anna did not want to do her homework last night."

Gentlemen Take Note

2012-01-05T13:43:00.000-08:00

Kid: (Playing with my hand) Where's your ring?
Me: What ring?
Kid: You need a ring!
Me: I know, what kind of ring should I get?
Kid: Zales! Wanna go to Zales and buy a ring?
Me: Yeah! Are you going to buy me one?
Kid: Yeah let's go to Zales, the Diamond Store!
Me: Awesome!
Kid:What does Zales mean?
Me: It's just the name of the store I don't think it means anything.
Kid: It' means it's the Diamond Store!

Alllllvvvvviiiiiin!

2011-12-09T15:23:00.000-08:00

Kid: I saw this thing on TV telling me that Elvin is lost. Do you know Elvin? He's a chipmunk.
Me: Alvin?
Kid: Yes Elvin, hes a cute little chipmunk and hes lost and the TV said I have to help find him, but how am I supposed to find him? I'm just a kid, I can't find chimpmunks!.....or can I....? Ms. X do you like adventures?
Me: Yes!
Kid: Well tonight when you go home ask your mom if you can come over to my house, its easy you get a credit card, you know a credit card, the yellow ones?
Me: A metro card?
Kid: Yeah and get on the bus to my house, then we can go to where the TV said,www.whereselivn.com. We can get clues there on where to go next!
Me: Well I'll ask my mom but she doesn't like me out too late, I'm sure Alvin will turn up somewhere soon though.

My favorite things

2011-12-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

All November I was bugging them about these people called Pilgrims and Native Americans, so clearly they are my most favorite things ever....

Kid 1: Ms. X what do you want for Christmas?
Me: Hmmm.....
Kid 2: (With a serious and knowing look) I know, Pilgrim toys! That's what you want isn't it Ms. X, some Pilgrim toys to play with?
Me: Yes, I will probably ask for some Pilgrim toys...

Samurai #2

2011-12-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

Ok so today the kid from my previous story about how he is a samurai divulged yet another secret today...

Kid: Ms. X remember how I'm a samurai?

Me: Yes

Kid: Well I have a secret you cant tell anyone...

Me: Ok

Kid: I have a tiger spirit

Me:..............what can you do with a tiger spirit?

Kid:Protect innocents

Me:....That sounds like a good choice...keep up the good work

Samurai #1

2011-12-02T13:24:00.000-08:00

Kid: Ms. X I have to tell you something really important

Me: What is it?

Kid: I'm a samurai

Me: A samurai?

Kid: Uh huh

Me:...Congratulations

Kid: My mom was worried she said I'll get hurt, but I said "I can DO it mom" and I decided not to listen to her and become a samurai.

Me: Well I believe in you, just remember hands to yourself in school, ok?

Kid: You got it Ms. X!

Off to a good start this year...

2011-12-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

Kid: "Hey I like that blue turkey"

Me: "That's a peacock not a turkey, what animal group does he fit into?"

Kid: "The turkey group"

Me: "That's not one of the groups we learned about"

Student: Ms. X, you should probably get a job

Me: You're right I probably should...

Me: And what was the big party that the pilgrims had called?

Kid1: The Publishing Party

Me: No, that's something our class has. What did the Pilgrims have?

Kid2: A stick party.

Me:....I don't even know what that means. THINK guys you know this!! What was the party they had with the Native Americans called!?!

Kid3: Thankgiving!

Me: Excellent! And what were they thankful for?

Kid2: Thanksgiving CAKE!

Me:.....yup.

(Teaching about adaptations we have just learned what an anteater is and how his long tongue helps him to eat ants from the ground....)

Kid: Does it eat people?

Me:No its fine to you if you are a person, just not if you are an ant. Its an ANTeater.

Kid: (Thinking this over...dead serious) Ms. X if you were dressed as an ant for Halloween and you saw this thing he would try to eat you.

Me:....maybe...

A Quick Recap of Some of Last Year's Best

2011-12-01T17:18:00.000-08:00

Me: (After reading a book called The Stubborn Pumpkin) “What do you think they will do with the stubborn pumpkin when they pick it?”

Kid.: “They will make an apple pie!”

Kid 1: “Hey there is Sophia over there.”

Kid 2: “I know”

Kid 1: “Hey! Tell Sophia that you are student of the month! Then she will like you”

Kid: (After finding his button came off his pants) “My pants are broke, I need some tape.”

Me: “The pilgrims came on boats that had no engines, they had to use sails.”

Kid.: “They came on seals?!?”

Me: “Who discovered popcorn?”

Kid: “Not me”

Kid: (While playing air guitar) “If I was young I could be a real rockstar.”

Me: (When trying to pick a topic for a weather project) “Honey, why don’t you just write about clouds?”

Kid: “ Clouds just aren’t my thing…”

Me: “Use the word last in a sentence.”

Kid: “Optimus defeated the last of the Decepticons.”

Kid.: (Holding a picture of a toy top for word study) “Is this a top?”

Me: “Yes”

Kid: “Like Top Model!”

Me: “What is that noise?”

Kid: “I was teaching John how to say “hello” and “food” in cat language.”

Me: (Showing a word study picture) “This is a shadow.”

Kid: “In the dark shadows of the city an evil plot is brewing.”

Kid 1: “Is Peter’s mom named Catherine?”

Peter: “No her name is April.”

Me: “What’s your mom’s name?”

Kid 1: “Uhh…October!”

A Bit About What I Do

2011-12-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

I teach first grade special education in NYC and it is literally the greatest job ever. Children are awesome and brilliant and hilarious. Sometimes I have to share my stories with others. Any names that are used here are fake. Enjoy, because I sure do!